Book Review: Choosing Naia

I picked up Choosing Naia while at the library searching for books for the Adoption Reading Challenge. Choosing Naia is a very detailed account of a family's choice to continue their pregnancy with a child prenatally diagnosed with Down Syndrome. The book is written by Mitchell Zuckoff, a Boston Globe reporter. Because of that, I think it is a bit more difficult to read. In addition to telling Naia's family story, the book includes significant information about the history of Down Syndrome and cumbersome medical knowledge. It is definitely not a light read.


I found it surprising that most parents of individuals with Down Syndrome do not have a prenatal diagnosis and are surprised at the child's birth.


What advocates of Down Syndrome may find difficult is that Naia's parents seriously considered terminating the pregnancy. The book also includes stories of families who did choose to terminate. While difficult to read, I felt that it was necessary as the story would not be so raw and honest without those testimonies. The book also shows the successes of many individuals with DS and the parents who chose to continue their pregnancies and raise their children.


While this is not an adoption book per se, I have been doing some heavy research on adoption of children with Down Syndrome. This book allowed me to broaden my perspective of DS.


Disclaimer:  I was not endorsed for reviewing this book.

Book Review: The Girls Who Went Away

A few years ago, a blogger mentioned that one of her favorite books is The Girls Who Went Away:  The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade by Ann Fessler. I put it on my mental list of “books to read when I have time.” Well, as a medical student, I never really have “time” per se. When Jenna started the Adoption Reading Challenge, I knew that I would participate, and that this would be my first book. I was not disappointed.

Despite the title, this book does not get into the controversy of abortion. However, one of my favorite quotes was from “Nancy” speaking about the popular conservative idea that adoption is the obvious alternative to abortion:

It’s hard to convince others about the depth of it. You know, a few years after I was married I became pregnant and had an abortion. It was not a wonderful experience, but every time I hear stories or articles or essays about the recurring trauma of abortion, I want to say, “You don’t have a clue” I’ve experienced both and I’d have an abortion any day of the week before I would ever have another adoption–or lose a kid in the woods, which is basically what it is. You know your child is out there somewhere, you just don’t know where. It’s bad enough as a mother to know he might need you, but to complicate that they make a law that says even if he does need you we’re not going to tell him where you are.

This brings up another message that really struck me as I read this book. There is no law that gives adopted children access to their biological family records – medical history, parents’ names, etc. While there are certainly psychological issues which arise from this, the family medical history is what frightens me the most. As a health care professional, I am made aware every single day that most (if not all) health conditions have a strong genetic component. Is it morally acceptable to withhold this information from adopted children and adults? Shouldn’t every girl have the right to know if her mother had breast cancer at age 35 or if her father had Huntington’s disease which developed later in life? Sure, genetic testing is available, but why should adoptees have to go through costly, invasive procedures that can be obtained from simple questioning?

Another quote resonated with me.

I never gave him away. He was never meant to be a gift. If anything, the gift was that I thought I gave him the parents that he needed. They were the gift. They were the gift to him. My son was not a gift.

To me, this statement needs to be read by every adoptive parent. It negates the stereotype of birth parents that they are “giving away” their children for whatever reason. It takes away the passivity of the act of placing a child for adoption, and instead reiterates the fact that so many parents do think realistically about their child’s futures.

I learned a thousand times more from this book than I thought I would.

Disclaimer:  I was not endorsed for reviewing this book.

Who is Beans?

Beans is my dog.

He is not just any dog. He is a wonder dog.
In May 2009 after some dramatic life events, I decided to get a dog. I was browsing on petfinder, and instantly fell in love with these eyes. How could you not?

I quickly gained permission to go see him. I fell in love some more. The county pound told me he was a beagle/lab mix, 6 months old, and 20 lbs. He was found wandering the streets of a very rough neighborhood with many scars on his head and face.

That first day, I took him outside where he sniffed like he had never sniffed before. His tail remained between his legs. I sat down in the grass, and he sat right next to me. That is when I knew I would not be leaving without him.

Due to some rules at the county pound, I wasn't allowed to take him home with me for 5 days! I wondered if he would remember me when I came back. I went to see him several more times during those days. On day 4 of the wait, I got a call from the pound. The warden told me that my dog was very sick with suspected kennel cough and to come get him ASAP. The pick-up was uneventful. As soon as I opened the door, he hopped right in.

I drove him home, constantly checking the rear view mirror to see how he was doing. I took him to the vet where they told me that he probably had kennel cough, but that in reality he was "scared shitless." Their words. After getting some meds, we went home to meet the family. He remembered my mom from a previous visit to the pound, but did not like my brother or dad. We quickly learned that he did not like men or people wearing hats. We can only assume that a man wearing a hat had beaten him.

After the excitement wore off, he slept for about 3 days straight. Good thing, because he still didn't have a name. After 3 days, my brother had had enough and named him "Beans." It stuck.

Now Beans is a happy dog. He has turned into a 65 lbs lab/boxer/pitbull mix (as far as my Google image searching can tell). He still sleeps all day. He likes to sleep under the covers and enjoys sleeping until noon.

He often presents me with a WTF?! face when my alarm goes off at 6am. I give him one right back. His favorite activity is napping,  usually while I study.

The life of a dog is so hard. So is neuroanatomy.

We have come a long way since May 2009. Both of us.